5 Top Tips to Build Relationship Resilience
By Stephanie Weichert
“Which one is riskier?” asked my 10-year-old son. We often play a ‘would you rather’ game. For instance, would you rather swim across a pool of piranhas or run through a burning building? Gah. I often blurt out “neither” as my answer, however that’s not the name of the game.
Instead of choosing which heinous door to walk through, this was a case where a child asks which real-life scenario is more dangerous than the other. I found the sincerity in his eyes a bit off-putting.
Our game questions of the day –
Choice A: Jumping out of an airplane with a parachute.
Choice B: Taking a long leap attached to a bungee cord.
He was referring to skydiving and bungee jumping. A quick search on the Internet yielded interesting results. One in every a half million jump to their death doing either activity. It also turns out jumping with a parachute or a bungee cord is less risky than driving in a car. I reminded him that extreme jumping of any kind is still a strong risk.
I realized that the same is true taking the leap toward relationship.
The actual jump toward being recognized by someone has risk attached to it. Like the jump from an airplane with a parachute, the pursuit toward connection is performed purposefully. Fortunately, the odds of possible physical harm when asking for a date appear to be far less than parachuting. For many of us, however, the vulnerability of risk still produces the same armpit sweat as pitching a sales proposal.
The value of positive relationships is remarkable. They carry us through the darkest facedown moments and cheer us on when we are flying high. They help us find grace in the messy middle. We need to believe that we are all likable whether we have our feet up while resting or head face down in the dust.
5 top tips to build relationship resilience:
- Set a coffee/tea time with someone who fascinates you but has also has revealed something vulnerable about themselves.
- Create a relationship goal with someone you love (Example: Like planning a date.).
- Own the mess you caused and offer an apology.
- Look up when someone is standing in front of you.
- Use heart language instead of hearting through social media outlets.
The rewards of building resilience through relationships are rich. It’s the ordinary moments with others that makes the extraordinary possible. Take the risk of being known.
How will you take a jump toward real relationship this week?
Photo by: @KidCircus
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